Looking for friends in China

Hello, I'm Bert, a middle age man from the Netherlands, and want to learn more of China, the cultuur, the people, the habits, and social life. I'm thinking about living in China for retirement, and stay for about 4-5 months, go back to the Netherlands for 1-2 months, and go to China again, etc. Not sure if I want to stay a little outside a city, or more inside a city. Also not yet know in witch city to live, I like country side, rural life, but want also live close to shopping mall, and more social entertainment. Maybe a apartment with seperate bedroom, nice view, and a closed living area with security. 

So looking for friends who can tell me more about living in China, the best places to live regarding finance, safety, social entertainment, places to visit, nice people, etc and how to put my knowledge, or advice in to a financial benefit. What is my knowledge, I'm a architect with a lot of practical experience in building myself. I'm a promblem solver, and for any problem, effectiveness, management, how to do things better, cheaper, and in less time. I can tell you many things, but I'm not looking for a job, I'm first of all looking for friends, men, and women, to orientate the best options for me. 

If your serious regarding to make friends, and learn from each other, please contact me at my mailadres [email protected]

Hi @BertvanRooij and welcome.  I think you will find more and better responses to your request by posting directly on a Chinese forum open to outsiders. There aren't many and I don't have any personal experience, but I quite like the looks of RedNote (小红书) which is very popular in China and accepts bilingual (maybe even multilingual) posting. Here are some references :

https://rednoteweb.com/  

https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/rednote/id741292507  

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.xingin.xhs&hl=en-US  

You can also learn a lot about today's China through some semi-independent publications which deal with real life for ordinary people in the country. My favourites are: Sixth Tone and The World of Chinese.

Fresh voices from today's China | Sixth Tone

How People Live in Contemporary China | The World of Chinese

Both have a presence in Facebook and regularly link free articles there.

Good luck in your quest!

I have rednote, but thats more like people show picture, but not looking for friends. Reading books is not the same as talking to people, and get to know someone in person.

On 3/15/2025 at 5:37 AM, BertvanRooij said:

talking to people, and get to know someone in person.

You need to talk to people from China and that means learning how to speak Chinese. Chinese people really respect people who make an effort to learn Chinese and can pronounce it well. 

I live in a village in northern Hunan, about 15 kilometres away or a 20-minute drive from the city centre. I love my village but you may feel a bit lonely here because you will see few young people here except during the Chinese Spring Festival. Currently, we have about twenty to thirty permanent residents but most of them are in their 50s or 60s, if not older.

The local infrastructure is good. All roads are paved or cemented, with solar-powered lights lining most of them. We have a motorway running through the village so it can be a little bit noisy at times but some may find the hum of traffic comforting. If you have a car or scooter, it’s easy to go shopping, dine out, relax at a coffee shop, or get a massage.

If you want to experience more social life, living closer to the city centre might be a better option where you can make more friends and live in a better equipped house.  

Hello Kenny,

Niceto hear from you, regarding it would be maybe a bit lonely, well let me say this. I like being in a quit place, becouse if its not to far from the city, you can always go look for more social gattering in the city if you need to. But at home, for a nice walk, or just interact with the neighbors, I like more. 

How about the food, drinks, and lokal advants, and please tell me more about the festifall. What is the name of your village, so I can look it up on google earth. 

I'm still looking for options, and when Its time, I will first learn some chinees languist, and visit your country befor planning to actually thinking about living in China.

Also I am alone, but I don't want to stay alone, so looking for some nice lady to share my life in a nice, and friendly place.

Becouse I'm a architect I still like to help people who need advice if they want to built a house. Not for business, ore work, as I would be retired, but just to help, make friends, and to fill some free time. 

How is your life, and familie?

Regards, Bert

Hello Bert,

You can search for my village by using the search phrase [address removed for privacy reasons]) on Baidu or Google. Baidu might offer a clearer view of my location, by the way.

Local food is quite diverse. While traditional cuisine tends to be very spicy, non-spicy and mildly spicy dishes have become more popular these days, especially to cater to the younger generation and for health reasons. Some local specialties include 津市牛肉粉 (beef rice noodles from Jin County, which was once part of my county), 酱板鸭 (Hunan-style braised and roasted duck), 麻辣牛肉 (spicy beef), and 钵钵菜 (a sophisticated version of hotpot with a variety of ingredients). As for local snacks, I’m not a big fan of them, but they include 蒿子粑粑 (mugwort rice cakes), 搅搅儿糖 (malt sugar candy), 米糕 (steamed rice cakes), 顶顶糕 (steamed flavored glutinous rice cakes), handmade mooncakes, and 牛肉包子 (steamed beef buns). If you are just like me, you can order specialty snacks of many different places online.

As for drinks, local people mainly drink baijiu, a Chinese liquor with an alcohol content ranging from 35% to 60%. Soft drinks are typically the kinds you’d find in supermarkets. Personally, I prefer homemade drinks such as 清补凉 (a refreshing dessert soup), 葛粉 (kudzu powder jelly), 西米露 (sago pudding), and 甜酒 (sweet rice wine).

Given your background, you should be able to enter a romantic relationship fairly easily, but do be cautious of people who may try to take advantage of you financially.

I lead a simple life, which might seem a bit boring to some people. I used to work from home as a professional translator but have since switched to another career. I live with my parents, who are in their 60s, along with a cat and three dogs. Two of the dogs belong to my uncle, who lives next door.

If you need any further information about my county, feel free to ask. 🙂

PS: What is 清补凉? Here is an answer from ChatGPT: 
 

Qing Bu Liang is a traditional Chinese dessert soup, especially popular in Hainan Province. It's a refreshing and mildly sweet treat, often enjoyed as a cooling dish during hot summer days. The name "Qing Bu Liang" roughly translates to "refreshing and nourishing."

Ingredients

The ingredients can vary, but common ones include:

• Mung beans – Provide a cooling effect and are rich in nutrients.
• Red beans – Add sweetness and texture.
• Job's tears (Coix seeds) – Known for their health benefits and mild taste.
• Coconut milk – Enhances the flavor with a creamy, tropical touch.
• Fresh fruits – Such as watermelon, pineapple, or mango for added sweetness and freshness.
• Jelly or grass jelly – Adds a chewy texture.
• Tapioca pearls – Sometimes included for a chewy contrast.
• Sugar or rock sugar – To sweeten the dessert to taste.

This combination of ingredients makes Qing Bu Liang a balanced, nutritious dessert that's both cooling and energizing.

Under what visa scheme can you stay 4-5 months and reenter after 30-60 days???? 

Have you done any research on this? Retiring in China is hard unless you are married to a native Chinese